Pay the Pig, even if your income defies it....

Ultimately, the most rewarding job isn't a job at all. It's pursuing your interest, enjoying your hobby and making money from doing what you love... doing what you were born to do.

-Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip-

Ultimately - *wry grin*

However on your way to fulfilling that dream, you are stuck in a job, with responsibilities and bills and maybe a few bank loans, school loans and personal loans to pay off. What do you do?


Firstly.


Stop.

Be grateful. You have an income and are therefore able to pay these bills...albeit not as quickly as you had hoped.

But you are in a good place.

You realize you wont be in this position forever and you bravely smile and lug it to work each day, make it through the day, sanity intact.


Permission to pat yourself on the back.

In the meantime. Save!

Even if it means cutting back on ONE luxury. Have a picture of your goal that you stare at each time you make that deposit in the bank (or other non-conventional saving institutions - can you say mattress? lol)

But seriously, save something. The more you focus on what you want the closer you get to your dream. When opportunity comes, you DONT want to have to skip it due to 'lack of funds'

Research.

Read as much as you can about the business or area you really want to actively involved in. Talk to the experts, attend seminars  in the area of interest. This will do two things:

Keep the dream alive and increase your knowledge in the area.. All a part of being prepared for success.

Be careful with your idea. Share shrewdly. Those who may not steal your idea may want to talk you out of it! It is your dream!

LET NO ONE TELL YOU IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!

Surround yourself with inspiring people who believe in you. It is said that we are slowly becoming the average of the five closest people to us. Hmmm.... choose cautiously. Never let your enthusiasm wane. This is YOUR passion!

Look out for opportunities. A break, the once in a lifetime chance.

Tips on Saving with an Income that defies it!:

1. Lunch box it! Now in style for serious health freaks ahem...conscious persons. Taking a packed lunch to work not only ensures paying less for lunch but also balanced, healthy meal for tummy...you get exactly what you have a craving for (you pack it) and yes, it does improve healthy eating habits. If you take leftovers (by the way , ever notice how deliciously different leftovers taste at work??), now we are really saving! Double pat on the back for you, smart savvy saver. <--- say that three times fast :)
Remember to pack a snack!!

2. Pay bills ontime! The negative results of ignroing this tip is not only includes interest rates but in the case of utility bills...um... yeah, horrific blackouts! *shudder*
Again developing these healthy financial habits are beneficial in other ways.... hehe

3. Budget. A very simple but miraculous necessity of the financially savvy! A budget is a lifesaver. It gives a comprehensive overview of what you earn and how you spend it. How delightful!You can make decisions such as what to clip or keep in times of need. It also encourages the discipline needed to save successfully. Just look at those numbers! Multiply the savings line by twelve and see what you'll have in a year!

Now that's encouraging! Dont forget to budget in recreational (movies, eat out etc). Even if it means renting a DVD and splurging on microwavable popcorn! C'mon live a little! Dont forget to LIVE!!
 
4. Get those scary loans under control. We now realize that hirepurchasing is not as pretty as it looked in the store display, glistening up at us its availability for only 10% down!!! Grrr! Anywhoo, we are past that and learned the hard way about credit cards and personal loans.
But we still have to pay 'em.

Dont ignore the calls it only makes them angrier!!! Really, most creditors are reasonable if you take their calls, explain and follow through with payment promises.
 Be as honest as you reasonably can and ask to pay a little less this month because of that unexpected issue if you must. But, just take the call!!!

These people record everything electronically. Every response, tone and attitude you shell out. So, be nice and meek without tolerating any violation of your rights and just chill. Yep, creditors are actually humans!
Pay consistently even if you cant make the minimum. Pay something. It buys leniency on their part by looking like effort on their records.

Prioritize loans and aggressively attack those with higher interest rates.

They DONT really WANT to lock you up. After all, they would NEVER get their money. Most creditors are willing to work something out. Just answer the phone.

On a lighter note:

5. Do not go grocery shopping on an empty stomach! You will get home and wonder; What was I thinking as you stare at bags filled with sugary treats. #regret! Sure its a little less if I buy three but do I really need three gallon bottles of  fabric softener for my family of two...hmmmm. Be reasonable!

Some say shopping monthly works out well. Personally I can barely shop for two weeks without fighting the temptation to shop in between grocery days (I get paid fortnightly :) ) I have never grasped the monthly concept. How do you manage things like bread. It lasts four days at the most then you have to take a trip to the shop to get a loaf... You then leave the shop with a basket of soda, cheese, and some weird thing you just got inspired to cook for dinner!! Chances are you have forgotten the bread!


Avoid that place if you must! Impulse purchases are placed at the check-out line to do just that- invoke impulsivity!!! *that's not a word , is it?* Go to the grocery with a list on 'grocery day'. Shop and get out!!- before you get hungry.

If you have been a good little budget keeper, then reward yourself. A small bottle of bubbly (my favorite) or a magazine! Remenber to breathe and live!! Even saving can be fun if taken with the right chaser...okay, alcohol talk...ahem.

6. Keep calm and try again! So what if you mess up? Live has these beautiful things called second chances that magically appear with a new day's sun *sigh* dramatic music*. Don't beat yourself up! Start over, try again and find the perfect mix of financially savvy practices that work for you!

Love ya- SB, Change and Grow

...they keep dreams alive in the practical world.

Today...

I have so much to say... the thoughts are bubbling up and bottlenecking at my fingertips...Plus, my heart wont start...

Sylphe means 'butterfly' in an ancient language...

The Butterfly is the symbol of change, the soul, creativity, freedom, joy and colour. 

Change is beautiful, the Sylphe

Their power is transformation, shape shifting and soul evolution. They represent the element of air, quickly changing and always on the move gracefully. Butterflies are messengers of the moment and come in a wide array of colours. It reminds us not to take things too seriously and to get up and move. 

They teach us that growth and transformation does not have to be a traumatic experience. It can be joyous. Sylphe possesses the ability to grow and change, leaving the safety of their cocoon to discover a new world in a new form without fear, trusting their untested wings to fly without a doubt in their minds. 

They work through many important stages to become the beautiful creature they are. Similar to the butterfly, we too are always moving through different stages, each equally as vital. It is no good rushing to a particular stage, nor is it good getting stuck at a stage and becoming stagnant. Butterfly is a potent symbol for those considering, or in the throes of, a big change. Butterfly is also one of the most inspiring symbols of the animal world, knowing precisely the time to leave the comfort and limitation of its cocoon, flying freely into the world. Quite frequently, we are not so certain. The cocoon of our thoughts and fears may be limiting, they are also safe and familiar. We can become afraid of what may be outside of our limiting thoughts and belief systems, trapping us and holding us back from ourselves, from our dreams and desires, from our unlimited potential.

The bejewelled sylphe..

Into the mind of the Sylph...

Most of what we absorb on a daily basis in our conscious and sub-conscious are untrue messages which unknowingly affect our self-image, value and esteem.

Picture being in a room of noxious invisible fumes…slowly forming cancerous plaques on our lungs.

Ok, maybe not as dramatic but certainly just as damaging.

So, the marketers need to have product desired by consumers (us). The messages are sent in songs, jingles, magazines, billboards etc. This is the thing to have and you are nothing without it!!… I’ve heard the mysterious stories of subliminal messages and while there is some skepticism, there is no doubt that hearing the same thing over and over again will leave any human being prone to believing the message whether or not there is an iota of truth to it.

Multiply that effect exponentially by adding the figure of admiration and authority spewing it out and you’ve got yourself the underlying principle of a charismatic church *giggle* Just kidding – actually not kidding. The thing is, we hear these messages every day, everywhere and somewhere in there we adjust and start to depend on an external voice of approval, not what we feel is good and right but what the masses deem to be good and right.

Add to that my favorite riding horse, “Humans are social beings…blah blah blah….. Their environment influences their behavior blah bi di blah!! [Read: Lifting of the Edges]

So with all this false junk entering unprocessed and definitely not questioned, we end up with a rather lazy thinker or a sleeper as I will describe this passive thinking individual.

The slavery trap: Get a good education, then a good job, then a good mortgage, then a good married, then a good child, then good education for the child, then a good retirement, then a good coffin. Your entire life disappears and you have not grown one bit along your spiritual path. Wake up! You are caught in a net, but all nets have holes, find one and escape. Courtney Kazembe

Seriously,

How many of us would describe ourselves as slaves? We’ve become so good at it that we’ve actually tricked ourselves into thinking we are happy like this.

I was born to dance. I know this by the way my feet and body move rhythmically and uncontrollably over the beats and lines of a song, any song…. I like ballet, dance, rock, modern and I dance all equally well. Because of this I loooooove music and my likes vary dramatically.

I was born to write. I know this because the sight of a starched white empty page pulls me in and I feel joy bubbling over as I fill it with my words (yeah, I’m in bliss now). 

I was born to change the world. I know this because of the way my heart swells and my indignation flares at the mere thought of injustice of those weaker or unable to defend themselves. I know this because in a very controlled (cult like atmosphere) I stood up and disagreed with the main leader (extremely legalistic) even though my heart was trying to escape my chest and I was shunned for weeks afterwards.

These things strike up a passion in me that cannot be put out by failures, mistakes or a mob of townspeople with hooks and pitchforks. (Umm, yeah.. they are there!) 

This is my purpose.

For years I had been asleep. I danced in a tight tutu on a Sunday afternoon to Tchaikovsky (my fav composer) as a six year old. As a preteen there were hours, practicing the positions of dancing, flexing and pointing as I experimented with different music. 

Then started the writing… Pages and pages of books upon notebooks. Pretty soon I would stand in a stationery store and lust after notepads with unusual covers. Just to attack them with prose. I have never considered majoring in Language or Literature or even dance in college. Well, I applied to Edna Manley for Dance major, but was too young to be admitted… the dream slowly died.

Naturally as a sleeping person, I made myself believe that a 1^st degree, followed by a job would be better. After all if I couldn’t be happy I could at least have the respect and prestige that everyone else was using to compensate for lack of true happiness…you know, join the rat race. Plus a degree would please my mom…that seemed good enough at the time.

Through college, I danced in a group, took active part in cheer leading and even did a little choreography. J It so happened I was editor for my faculty in final year as well…Oh well!!

The little hints I got were muffed out by reason and logic and by running in the damn rat race!! 

'

Science was interesting and reasonably easy enough, so I did that. Majored in Medical Technology just to later on despise being in the lab! Forensic Science offered another side to lab work but that job sucked (lack of resources) and made me paranoid about crime coming to my doorstep!! I starting carrying around a switchblade in my purse… .oh yeah!

Throughout I wrote, I wrote of steamy experiences (which were later burnt) *giggle* but nothing deeply reflecting or earth shattering….and definitely nothing that changed the world. The thing I have learned is that wisdom comes at a very high price and being a so called deep individual does not happen suddenly by choice.

You have to face your demons… And you just may lose too…. In fact there is more depth in failure than success!

Sick of the superficial club life with no definite meaning, I fell into a legalistic religious organization and promptly conformed to their every whim and fancy (there were many)…That’s where the awakening process began…. 

Not in the enlightened world of flashy city Kingston, 

Not in college (great place to find oneself) ...

...but in a very dark, cold and superstitious place of mystical beliefs and rules that stretch the holy book and lump over into tight traditional, patriarchal opinion. …That world of anarchistic control rooted in fear and almost every psychological principle of social cognitive behavior….

Now this was the real learning ground.

Naturally there was no dancing…. That was not allowed as discussed I a very divided, heated debate aptly called Agree/Disagree.[ I can barely write this without the stirrings of some subtle symptoms of PTSD].. sigh

It was here that every truth I was to ever accept was to be tested, stretched, examined, discarded and regurgitated….

It was here that I understood how Adolf Hitler could get peaceful Germans to rise up, assume superiority and at the flick of his swastika tattooed wrist, exterminate an entire race!

 It was here that the psychology of human behavior became so palpably real that I feared for my own imagined perception of reality.

 It was here that I grasped how charismatic leaders got others to kill themselves (the Kool-Aid guy, Hello!!), kill each other without remorse but with an air of authority and justification…. And feel closer to god for it!

In whispered tones, we discussed what was wrong with everyone else and why we were perfect.

Why love was indeed conditional and giving to someone should be predetermined by whether or not they paid their tithes.

Grrr… PTSD kicking in! Must abort post!

No one finds it a little ironic that with the high murder and corruption rate in Ja,- homosexuality is a 'moral' issue??

In a culture where 'man fi have nuff gal', 'bust me gun fi likkle and nuttin' is accepted, tolerated and promoted, the sin of homosexuality is too much for your tender sensibilities!! Dont make me laugh, Ja'cans!!!

Its time to open your eyes and realize that most (if not all) that we believe has been fashioned and formed by years of culture and traditional practices and way of viewing life.... NOT by your morals. Morals that allow us to sell weed to minors to drink until we are way past drunk, to do every other considerable act of self harm and harm to others as long as we can at the end of the day, 'bun a gay'!

I got my startling confirmation of this from my most confused and contradictory group of friends; the church people.....

 "They want some cat o nine! "If my son ever turned homosexual, me disown him"....and other remarks of similar nature. But my favorite- from a shaker/Quaker: "I'm not saying I wouldn't pray for one in the altar, but I'm not touching him, no sah! I'll pray for him from a distance", touted one minister.

My deeply convicted brother appeared to be sure of two things:

1. Gay-ness is contagious (therefore, no touchy!)
2. One can determine if a man is gay by mere appearance

I deliberately used the gender reference 'man', since the ever so present double standard extends to homosexuality again in our culture. While most college guys 'bun a gay', they wouldn't mind and would in fact give up a great deal to witness females acting 'inappropriately'. (If ya know what I mean)

The thing is a lot of things we have come to believe are as a result of our culture. You know, things repeated so many times down the generation ladder that we just accept them as truth without questioning (not that we are allowed).

My point: Believe what you must, but at least let it be your own opinion, based on reason, logic and self-reflection. There are too many self-proclaimed persons out there, controlling masses of people and getting them to drink the kool-aid!
   As I mentioned as the title of a previous post. 'when things don't add up, change the calculator'. Our ancestors didnt know everything (how to use Facebook, for instance) so lets examine our own values based on ideologies we have come to embrace, is there much sense to it?

Jamaica isnt homophobic because of our great love of what is right and decent! If so, Fornication and Adultery would also be against the law. Just re-evaluate your reasoning, that's all!!

Change and Grow - SB

Let us settle ourselves, and work and wedge our feet downward through the mud and slush of opinion, and prejudice, and tradition, and delusion, and appearance, that alluvion which covers the globe…till we come to a hard bottom and rocks in place, which we can call reality... - Henry David Thoreau

Thumbs Up for Emotional Health!

So I have two jobs after one, dreary, penny-pinching year of unemployment!! And can I say they are both sooooo cooool!!! Eeek!

One is assisting at a new store my very lovely sister manages...but the other... Blow My mind!!!!...Pays no money whatsoever but is granting me a wonderful insight into Emotional Health and hence getting me this bit closer to my career and life goals!! Awesome stuff! I've been meeting people who are almost as excited as I am about  Mental Health, attacking the stigma and discrimination, educating the masses and most importantly stopping all these teenage suicides...grrrr..

My first post for this blog (Who Am I?) outlined a few of my objectives for Mental Health and explains why it is so personal to me.. One day If I'm brave enough I'll explain (via blog of course) my own tumultuous adolescence and why I deeply feel for and connect with those who believe that the only way out is to take their life...

I want to work with adolescents so badly. I have a soft spot for teens...you know that whole misunderstood, self expression, identity crises era..How many of us can forget. But, truth is, and a supervisor of mine mentioned it; teens today have so much more to deal with than we did... I agree to an extent and could possibly argue both sides, but stats dont lie!!

Suicide, albeit denied by Dr. Abel is either on the rise or getting enough media attention for us to be worried about ideation increase. So its my issue, my cause. I'm rooting for all those Mental Health workers who battle each day to bring another kid back from the edge and sent home with a fresh dose of hope.

On my side, I would love to develop Emotional Health Promotion and get the self love message out there to those teens at risk.

You see, peeps, the principle doesn't change much... If I get my sense of value form an external source, when that goes I have nothing else to live for. My stance is that we get these teens to see the value in themselves, intrinsically, inherently....whichever is the correct word, get the drift?

I feel strongly about this!!! So much so that I would love to pursue future studies in Psychology and do some Adolescence specialization so I can become a practitioner.

Suicide is 100% Preventable!!

To the unsung heroes working with children and adolescence, their parents and teachers, keep up the excellent work! I honour you!!

Change and Growth (has occurred) - SB

Your Unique 'Life-Purpose'

Each person owes it to themselves to 'find self'....That unique life-purpose within you that leaves you satisfied and fulfilled. No one else can provide this for you.

You have so much inside you that is inherently valuable and bursting with purpose. Find it! That thing that your talents, characteristics and gifts allow you to do better than anyone else you know. You already know what it is. It's just that you have suppressed it for so long, listening to the external voices rather than what you know to be true deep within you.

Then you will be hit by that 'Aha' moment!! Then you will no longer try to fill the emptiness with aimless ventures, superficial social clubs and unhealthy relationships and substance abuse.

Your purpose will have been fulfilled....

Most times what we think gives us satisfaction (status, prestige) are the very things that hinder us from real happiness. It takes energy, lots of it to maintain a mask..an image...ANd this only gives us value in the eyes of others who do not see the real 'tinsel underneath'.

True empowerment is doing what you were born to do despite  the popular attitudes and social appendages attached.

What we have come to accept as 'the way things are', is shaped by traditional social practices which have become irrelevant.

The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise with the occasion. As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.
Abraham Lincoln

Change and Grow- SB

The most amazing thing about finding that special purpose is that the voices and opinions of others fade away... You were born with interests and passions for a reason!! Now go pursue!!!  :)